30 Oct

Fact: The following is a true story, I couldn’t make this stuff up.

So, my parents are having a party tonight.

Fact: My parents are basically party animals

But it’s not a Halloween party or anything. It’s actually a Bridge party, as in the card game? Yea, my parents are part of a Bridge club. They’re basically the youngest couple in it and they originally joined because we had just moved to Austin and we all wanted friends. I joined the tennis team at school and they became Bridge players. Done and done.

Fact: Okay, so maybe party animal isn’t the right term. But their social lives are like 4859 percent better than mine.

Last night I was helping my mom make kulfi, which is basically like Indian ice cream.

Fact: It’s freaking delicious.

We’ve been obsessed with the recipe since we found it, because it literally tastes like what you would find in the motherland.

Fact: Motherland=India.

Since this was for a party and would be serving roughly 20 people, we had to triple what we normally make. We made two batches of the regular stuff and stuck them in the freezer. But then my mom got sassy, and decided she wanted to try a mango kulfi.

Fact: I obviously get my sass from her.

We, however, did not have a recipe for mango kulfi. And we didn’t think it was something we could just add mango too because the texture of the “batter” is very important to the final product. So we went through this whole process of whipping cream and slowly adding mango into it until it became perfect.

Fact: In retrospect, we basically did just add mango and messed up the texture.

Another fact: We don’t have a stand mixer, so guess who stood there at 10 p.m. and whipped that shit by hand? My mom doesn’t even know how lucky she is to have me.

Oh wait, another fact: It wasn’t that bad, I’m just being a baby.

So we finished that one, poured it into a container and stuck it into the freezer. Woo, done!

Fact: Not done.

As we were cleaning up I made a joke about how I could never work as a chef in a restaurant because I’m always tasting the food I make with the same spoon (or finger, sorry) and that’s basically the most unhygienic thing ever. Yet, another reason why I don’t need to be going to culinary school.

Fact: My mom thinks I should go to culinary school if I absolutely can’t find a job after graduation. I think she’s crazy.

She starts laughing about this as she’s licking the spatula, which is obviously what you do after you finish making delicious kulfi. And then all of a sudden she goes, “Um, was this spatula always broken?”

Fact: The answer to that is “no”.

We look and there is this sizeable chip in the corner of it. We both turned our heads at the exact same time and looked at the freezer.

Fact: Crap!

So I run to the freezer and grab the mango kulfi and frantically start checking to see if there is a little spatula piece floating around in there. I didn’t find it so I YELL “Go get the other ones, they won’t be frozen yet..we have to find it!” She runs and gets them and I grab another spoon and start fishing around. While I’m doing this (and laughing my ass off, by the way) she’s looking in the sink, trash, my dog’s mouth, everywhere to see if it had fallen somewhere.

Fact: We never found it.

Another fact: We are still serving that kulfi to guests today.

Maybe fact: It is possible that the spatula had been broken for a while and we just didn’t realize it when we first starting making the dessert.


Absolute fact: Our lives don’t really work that way, so most likely it’s sitting in our freezer laughing at our stupidity.


P.S. Stay tuned for a post tomorrow on why I suck at Halloween!



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