How to know if you might be (going) crazy

18 Nov

1. You refuse to go to a doctor in regards to the major foot pain you are experiencing. Instead you decide WebMD is the greatest thing to hit the internet and look up “why do my feet hurt”.

2. When you read “rolling a golf ball around on the floor can help with the pain” you immedietly hobble out to your car to get the golf balls that have been sitting there since March and start rolling one around with the bottom of your foot. Never mind the fact that the same page mentioned “foot amputation”.

3. You have golf balls in your car even though the closest you’ve ever come to playing golf was reading about Tiger Woods cheating on his wife in US Weekly.

4. You stay up until 2 a.m. (when your self-appointed bedtime is 10 p.m.) to finish a huge project and realize you could have worked on it the next day (and following week). thus making the 2 a.m. thing totally unneccessary.

5. All of your sentences end in a question mark + exclamation point. Example: “Is that guy serious with those shoes?!” or “How the hell was I suppose to know he wanted to see our rough draft today?!”. This includes, but is not limited to, emails, text messages, Facebook updates, Tweets and actual voice inflection.

6. Your FORGOT that HARRY FREAKING POTTER came out TOMORROW and did not get tickets and now get to sit back while everybody else goes to see the beginning of the end of the greatest story of all time. Nevermind that you wouldn’t have been able to go anyway, the fact that you FORGOT such a MONUMENTAL occassion is grounds for CRAZY.

7. You capitalized eight words in that previous statement.

8. You just realized the guy across from you in the computer lab has been talking on his cell phone for 10 minutes and you haven’t given him the death stare or imagined what it would be like to throw him and his phone out the window.

9. What does suddenly bother you, however, is that everybody and their mother is sneezing. Are they all wearing microphones?! Since when did a sneeze sound amplified?!

10. You don’t even wish you were a little kid anymore with no more responsibility. Now you just wish you could live in a closet like Harry Potter.

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