Judgement Day

9 Dec

I’m the first to admit that I judge people. BUT I’m quite skilled at not letting them know they’re being judged. Even if they’re wearing hooker boots to class, I can make them feel like the classiest lady on the planet.

Unfortunately, others just can’t seem to give me the same kind of respect. I know I’m a ridiculous person but I like who I am and nothing is going to change that. So if I want to jam out to “Party in the USA” while brushing my teeth in my car, I’m gonna do it.

I love her. I really do.

Do I need to explain?

It’s really not that great of a story. I mean, I’m sure others have done it. I can’t be the only one to use those Crest Wisp thingys, and I”m certainly not the only person to enjoy a little music action in my car.

To make a long story short: I was driving to work. It seemed like a good time to freshen my breath. Then Miley came on. What was I suppose to do? Stop freshening my breath? Not sing a long?

That’s crazy. It’s like we’ve never met. Plus, have you seen how white Miley’s teeth are? She’s probably on my side with this one.

Anywho, as I’m “moving my hips like yeahhh” (not so easy in a car by the way) and “brushing” my teeth, I look over and there is this dude in a Sonata giving my the stink eye. He couldn’t have heard what song I was listening to, so he probably wasn’t judging my Disney taste in music. My dance moves are pretty sweet so he most certainly was not hating on those. This obviously means he was judging me for making sure my breath smelled minty and fresh.

Doesn’t he know that I’m Indian and basically eat cloves of garlic for breakfast? And I pretty much bathe in hot sauce, so if I want to take the time to freshen my breath, believe me, I’m doing the world a favor. It’s why those things were invented. To “brush” your teeth when you’re not at a sink squeezing toothpaste out of a tube and deciding what pajamas to wear. In the commercial the girl uses them right before making out with some random stranger at a club. I like to practice safe makeout sessions, so I probably would not be sucking face with a stranger, but so what? I’ve found another use for them. Crest obviously thanks me for being so damn resourceful.

Stink eye needs to back off.


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